Not Everything Is Black and White
by Eventine
Summary: After Shizuka tells people about her sexuality, her life becomes hell. When the person who showed her love dies, she begins spiraling self-destructively out of control. Can a friend restore her faith in humanity?
1. Life is Hell

**Eventine:** Hello friends! Welcome to my first, yes first, ever fanfic: Not Everything Is Black and White. You may not think the title makes much sense, but from my philosophical point of view it does. This story isn't very funny, and I think it's rather lacking, but I can't get better until I know what's wrong right? I know the summary you all saw sucked, so here's a slightly better one.-- Shizuka has just come out of the closet, and her life had fallen apart. A close friend shows her what love can really be like, giving her hope. Until, that is, her friend and brother are killed in a tragic car accident. The loss of the last things she held dear is too much to bear, and she falls into a world of crime, sex, and drugs. Can her friends bring her back? Perhaps, but remember, _Not Everything Is Black and White._

: Hello friends! Welcome to my first, yes first, ever fanfic: Not Everything Is Black and White. You may not think the title makes much sense, but from my philosophical point of view it does. This story isn't very funny, and I think it's rather lacking, but I can't get better until I know what's wrong right? I know the summary you all saw sucked, so here's a slightly better one.-- Shizuka has just come out of the closet, and her life had fallen apart. A close friend shows her what love can really be like, giving her hope. Until, that is, her friend and brother are killed in a tragic car accident. The loss of the last things she held dear is too much to bear, and she falls into a world of crime, sex, and drugs. Can her friends bring her back? Perhaps, but remember, 

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Not Yu-gi-oh, and I doubt the plot is entirely original.

**Note**

For anyone that has read this fiction, I highly recommend re-reading every chapter, as all of them have been at least slightly changed. Also, I totally changed chapter three, and since I have not watched the show in ages ((high school sucks)) most of this is from how I remember it being. I am pretty sure it has improved, seeing as how my dismal skills as an author have, at least slightly. So farewell my friends, and enjoy.

'Gone, it's all gone... My friends, Jounouchi....everything...' So were Shizuka's thoughts are she barricaded herself inside her bedroom, as she had done for the past three nights. Her life had fallen into a horrible routine; Wake up, shower, dress, go to school, attend class, hide in bathrooms, come home, grab food, lock bedroom door. Occasionally her pattern varied to accommodate research and bathroom breaks, but it remained ultimately the same.

_'Oh, how I miss the old days, when I had friends, family, a life.... But it's gone now. Disappeared......' _A soft knock on her door shattered her reverie, and she sighed before unlocking and opening her door. Her brother was standing there. A painful memory came to her, unbidden. --I'll always be here for you.' Jounouchi said, patting her head affectionately.--'Hah! what a joke! As soon as I came to terms with who I was, and admitted it, everyone abandoned me, even Jou.' " What do you want?" She muttered, unable to meet her brothers' eyes. "Phones' for you." He said, shoving the cordless maroon telephone into her hand and stalking down the dim tan hallway back to his room, shutting the door unnecessarily hard. _'A phone call? For me? Who would be calling?' _She thought briefly.

She brought the phone to her mouth, her face creased, scowling slightly and said "Hello?" not daring to hope it was someone worth talking to.

"Hello Shizuka! How've you been lately?" The voice was obviously female, and slightly distorted, probably from a poor cell phone signal. A barrage of static made her pause before answering.

"Miserable."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why's your life so glum all of a sudden?"

Shizuka's mouth fell open. _'Why do they torment me like this! Calling, and pretending they don't know what's happened, pretending to care... They make me sick!'_

"Look, I don't appreciate your false sympathy," She growled into the mouth piece. "Whoever this is, just leave me alone!" Shizuka was about to hang up when the voice said, slightly shrilly, "Don't hang up Shizuka! It's me Anzu!"

Shizuka faltered. "A- Anzu? It's really you? Where have you been?"

Anzu's giggle sounded strange to Shizuka, after being in a world composed of taunting and darkness. "I was out of town with my parents remember? So, tell me, what's got you so down?"

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Heard what silly? I've only just gotten home!"

"Th-that I'm..... bisexual."

**Eventine:** Well friends, that's the first chapter. I'm sorry it's short, but I'm new at this. Oh, and I may need beta-readers. Email me at Thanks guys.


	2. Allies?

**Eventine:** Welcome back guys. I'm afraid this is another short, and slightly tweaked chapter. I know you must be surprised that after a little under a year I picked this back up, but hey, I missed it. hugs computer and it feels good to be back.

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing. I am only a lowly authoress.

Instead of the stunned silence followed by a tell-tale dial tone as she expected, Anzu began, "Oh really? Wow, that's pretty cool, though I'm really not surprised. I hope you didn't tell the whole world though, because you would be ridiculed end....less....ly...." She trailed of as the reason for her friends misery dawned on her.

Shizuka, instead of continuing to dwell on her misery, hastily changed the subject. "How did your little holiday go?"

"It was ok. We went to my great aunt's house for some bizarre family reunion. Did you know I have 37 cousins? 37! I was hardly aware of the fact that my parents had _any_ siblings, let alone six each. It rained most of the time, and I got stuck watching all the kids that were too young to entertain themselves while the rest of the family went to various stores looking for..... I actually have no idea what they were looking for, but that's beside the point. The point is that the kids were little brats, and the only thing that compensated for it was my aunt's food. I mean honestly, I about had it when they started trying to jump from the piano onto the chandelier."

Much to her surprise, Shizuka let out a soft giggle. She immediately clapped a hand to her mouth. _'Wow, I never thought I'd laugh again…'_ Her face brightened as her friend retold the myriad of tales about her strange family members, from her grandma who had been a stripper to her cousin who went spelunking to collect bat dung for research.

Anzu continued with her narration, "Oh, and there are some really cute guys there, and girls. I luckily had one day at the shopping center and was able to enjoy the finer human specimens."

Anzu waited a moment for this to sink in, she could practically hear her friends thoughts. _"Cute guys and girls? What did she mean by that? Is she making fun of me or is she…"_

Shizuka's slight gasp made it apparent she had figured it out. "Y-you mean you're… you're like me?"

Anzu laughed. "Well, that took you long enough. See, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual, it's just telling everyone and their cousin isn't the best idea."

Shizuka and Anzu's conversation lasted well into the night, and though they were talking of things of little importance, it gladdened Shizuka greatly. She knew that at school tomorrow, she would have a friend.

---Tea's House--

After hanging up the phone, Tea flopped, face up, on her pink quilted bed and stared at the unicorn poster that hung from her ceiling. '_So', _she thought '_Shizuka is bi… Though she never really showed any signs, I'm not overly surprised. But for life of me I can't remember her showing much interest in guys, or girls, except for Kaiba...'_

Anzu sighed, and picked up the phone. It was time to call in reinforcements. Namely, Mai Kujaku. Mai would know what to do, after all, she was the one who helped Anzu through the tough period of her life after coming to terms with her own sexual preferences.

She began to dial. Although it was nearly ten o'clock, Mai picked up the phone after just two rings. "Hello?" Mai said, her voice warm and silky.

"Hi Mai, it's me Anzu. I need to talk to you about Shizuka."

"Oh, I know. She was the last person I ever expected to be bi. And the way her brother handled it! It's no wonder she's taken to locking herself in her room every night."

Anzu sighed. "She seems really upset. Her brother took the news rather badly?"

Mai laughed "That's an understatement! He totally flipped! Instead of being there when Shizuka needed him most, her began screaming. He said all kinds of hurtful things like that he 'wouldn't tolerate some crazy dyke in his family.' and that she was being 'disgusting and going against the worlds natural order of things'. He had poor little Shiz crying in a matter of minutes."

Anzu sighed again. "That's so sad… at least my parents understand… How did you know about Shiz?

"I was there," Mai said, suddenly sounding melancholy. "I tried to explain to Jou that his sister needed him, but he wouldn't listen. Honestly, we've been going out for over a year and he still wouldn't heed my advice… Did you know that Shizuka has taken to running out of the house early in the morning when her brother wakes up? As soon as she hears his door open she bolts. It's very sad… And I know Jou still cares about his little sister, but he doesn't know how to apologize, and he's afraid that she won't forgive him even if he does say sorry. He told me as much… I keep telling him he should just say sorry but… well, like I said, he won't listen."

This was starting to sound more complicated than Anzu had thought. "Shizuka told me everyone has been really terrible to her lately… why weren't you nice to her?"

Mai sighed in exasperation, "Honestly Anzu, I would've helped her if I could've, but I've been away on..... business. When I think of how people must have been treating her… I shudder at the very thought. What if some one had attacked her? She would be another victim of a hate crime, and her brother would have to live with the fact that he had never made things right. Like I said, it's very, very sad."

It was Anzu's turn to sigh again. _'This seems to get worse and worse the more I find out.' _She thought. "I can see that. We'll have to try to make people see, to make Jou see… Anyways Mai, thanks for the help. See you tomorrow.

"Bye Anzu."

"Bye Mai."

Anzu hung up the phone, feeling conflicting emotions. She was gleeful knowing that Mai would help her out, but was depressed at the same time. Shizuka hadn't told her just how bad things really were, and now she understood why.

**Eventine**: There we have it, I love you all, and thanks for reading, and , maybe even reviewing ()


	3. The Sun Still Rises

**Eventine**: Ok friends, this chapter is probably my longest yet, and also went through the most changes. To understand the rest of this fiction, you MUST read this updated version.

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Yu-gi-oh. At all.

Early morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, throwing dappled golden colors across Shizuka's fair face, causing her to awake. She yawned, and stretched her limbs, actually somewhat looking forward to the day ahead. She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her deep, chocolate eyes, and glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table. It was five o'clock, and hour earlier than she would usually arise.

She stood up slowly, wary of the bouts of dizziness she was prone too. After a few moments, she walked over to her closet and pulled out her school uniform. Unlike other girls that attended Domino High, Shizuka rarely attempted to 'spice' up her uniform by adding brightly colored scarves or bangles. She preferred it plain and simple, with little or no effort involved. But today for some reason, she decided to do something different.

She walked across the room to the chest of drawers that housed her under-things. Atop the dresser a small mahogany box rested, it's golden hinges shining merrily in the dawn light. She gently opened the lid, and extracted a thin silver chain, with a dragon pendant on the end. It had once belonged to her mother. --_'Here Shizuka, I want you to have this. My mother gave it to me when I was your age. See the dragon? It symbolizes strength and courage. I know you'll have plenty of both.' -- _She laughed at herself as she slipped the long chain over her head. _'Courage? Strength? It's all I can do to wake up in the morning, knowing the giggles and whispers I hear walking down the corridors are about me. But wait, perhaps today will be different, after all Anzu will be at school today.' _Shizuka shivered slightly as she changed, her body exposed to the near-frigid air of her bedroom. She had forgotten to turn on the heater again. The silver coil chain and pendant weren't any warmer, and felt like ice upon her bare chest.

She hastily pulled on her clothing, and slipped into the kitchen. Shizuka walked over to the pantry and snatched out a box of cinnamon flavored cereal. Not bothering to get a bowl or milk, she plopped down on the plush red couch, eating her breakfast dry. She flicked on the television, turning the volume down low, and flipping to the news. Nothing overly interesting had happened over night. A couple car accidents, a bank robbery, but nothing world changing. She sighed as she heard her brothers door creak open. Before he had even reached the end of the hall, the TV. was off, the cereal was back in the cupboard, and Shizuka was nowhere to be seen.

She didn't stop running until she was a block away, panting slightly. She readjusted her navy messenger style book-bag, and continued along at a slower pace. This was the fourth time she had run out of the house as soon as her brother had awoken. They had taken to avoiding each other at all costs, and, in her opinion, it was her duty to disappear. She figured that even if she kept up her snails pace and went straight to school, she'd be more than an hour early.

At a corner about three blocks from her school, she turned left, and headed towards the library. The library was an old building, perhaps one of the oldest in all of Domino. It was a massive piece of architecture, with graceful pillars and arcs, large bay windows, and a beautiful landscaped front. It was built entirely of large stone blocks, in a series of muted grays and browns, and some considered the most lovely building the older part of the city..

Shizuka sighed. The library had become her sanctuary in the time of late, saving her from the accusatory glances everyone seemed to aim her way. The musty smell of books she had come to adore greeted her as she walked through the large oaken door, and strode to the back of the building, which she came to think of as hers.

She walked slowly through the tall shelves where the books lived, running her finger along the spine of each book as she passed. She stopped as one caught her eye. It was a worn red book, with gold pages and text. She took it back to her favorite chair, and began to read. As she flicked through the pages, quickly absorbing every word, she realized why she loved books so much. _'Wow, books do a lot. They never judge me, or scold me, or tell me what I'm doing is wrong. They just sit, waiting to take me away from my problems, into their tales.'_

She sat like that, reading for the better part of an hour. At 7:30 she closed the book, making a mental note of what page she was on, and put it back on it's shelf. She scooped up her blue book bag, and walked out into the bright morning sunlight. The sudden change from the dim interior to the sunny outside dazzled her momentarily.

As she walked towards Domino High School, she began to hum. Things were definitely looking up.

As Shizuka walked through the large glass doors of Domino High School, everybody gave her cold glares, or began to whisper fervently too whomever they were with. Shizuka ignored them. Unlike the other days, she held her head high, long brown hair flowing gracefully to the small of her back, and walked confidently down the hallway to her locker.

'Left thirty, right eleven, left seventeen'. As she eased open the door of her locker, a note fell out. It was written on light blue paper, and had her name written in flowing cursive on the front. Before she had pondered it much, Anzu bounced up beside her.

"Hi Shizuka." Was Anzu's ever cheery greeting.

"Hello Anzu, I assume you've done well."

Anzu giggled, she found Shizuka's formal levity amusing. Anzu did her best to imitate what an aristocratic woman in Britain might sound like, and said; "Oh, I _have_ been very well dahhling. It is so kind of you to inquire." That's as far as she got, before her words were drowned out by her laughter.

Shizuka didn't find it as funny as her friend did, and she told Anzu as much. Just than, the bell for first period rang, and Shizuka and Anzu parted. Shizuka headed up to the second story for her Geography class, which she had always found dismally boring.

She barely noticed the looks she received, or the whispers that started as she walked down the middle of the classroom to her desk in back. She plopped down into her chair and pulled the note she had found earlier from her pocket. _'Who could this be from? I don't know of anybody that would write a note on a piece of fancy blue stationary….'_

She unfolded is slowly, her hands trembling slightly. She wasn't sure why she was so excited. None the less, as soon as it open she began reading fervently. It was written in the same handwriting as the front and said;

Dear Shizuka,

I am terribly sorry that I couldn't be there for you after you told your brother. I wanted to help you so much, but unfortunately business took me elsewhere.

I am back in Domino, and looking forward to seeing you again. Meet Anzu and me in the bathrooms halfway through first period.

Sincerely,

Mai

Shizuka was rather surprised. She hadn't expected Mai to be home for weeks yet. She suspected that her brother knew when Mai would return, but of course she hadn't thought to ask. _'I wonder why they want to meet me so soon…'_ Of course Mai already knew about her sexuality, so she wasn't going to ask about that. Perhaps she was going to break up with Jounouchi, and wanted to make sure Shizuka was prepared for it…

Shiz walked up to her teacher a little less than half-way through the period and asked to be excused to the restrooms. As she walked down the deserted halls, a strange noise coming from one of the many janitorial closets attracted her attention.

**Eventine**: There we are, chapter three, new and improved. The next chapter should hopefully be interesting... Please review!


	4. Discoveries

**Eventine**: Okay guys, an all new chapter. This one seems kind of abrupt to me, but I am tired, and should have been in bed an hour ago, but had to post this. So yeah, hopefully you will enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER**: Nothings belongs to pitiful me.

She crept towards the door, her curiosity getting the better of her. She slowly eased it open, though just a crack, at let a surprised squeal at what she saw.

Yuugi Moto and Ryou Bakura quickly backed away from each other, but the damage had already been done. Shizuka's eyes were still wide as she took note of their tousled hair and slightly flushed faces.

Ryou scuffed at the white tile floor nervously. "It's -uh- not what you think?" He murmured, glancing up briefly. Yuugi snickered and pulled the smaller boy towards him. "It's alright, she won't care." He affirmed in a low tone, nipping the blonds ear affectionately. "Right Shizuka? You're like us. You don't care that Ryou is my boyfriend do you?" Yuugi's amethyst eyes were wide and pleading. Shizuka laughed lightly. "God no, I'm actually not surprised at all. Although I would think you're common sense would inform you how stupid it is to meet for mid-morning make-out sessions in the closet." She smiled brightly.

Yuugi grinned back. "I'm glad you understand Shizuka, though you are probably right, and we really should be getting back to class." Ryou flashed her a final bashful grin after kissing his boyfriend good-bye and left; Yuugi followed a few moments later. Shizuka was the last to exit, her head swimming the all the changes that had occured lately.

She followed the hallway until she reached a cobalt door, which clearly declared that it was the girls restroom. She entered rather tentatively, knowing she was more than a little late, but was relieved to find Anzu sitting, legs crossed, on a sink with Mai standing close by.

"What took you?" Was Mai's greeting, looking slightly perturbed, though Anzu was beaming beside her. "I, uh, found the most interesting distraction in a closet on the way here." She explained, without giving too much away. Mai shrugged and said, "Have things improved at all?"

Shizuka shook her head. "No, not really, at least not before today. Jounouchi still won't talk to me unless he has to, and people here still look at me funny. Though I do have more friends that I thought I did." She smiled at Mai.

"Well, at least some things are better. I really can't see why everyone is giving you so much shit though. I mean honestly, what's the big deal? Double your pleasure, double your fun is what I always say."

Shizuka laughed, Mai always did have an interesting way of looking at things.

"Now," Mai continued, "How about this evening, you and Anzu meet me and some of my alternative friends at the pizza place for dinner. That way, you can meet more people who relate to you."

"That would be awesome." She replied.

Anzu spoke up, "We should probably go soon guys, the bell is about to ring."

Shizuka looked at her watch, realizing Anzu was right. She had been gone nearly 40 minutes. She quickly bid the both of them goodbye, and headed back to class. The image of Yuugi and Ryou, wrapped in each others arms kissing passionately replayed in her mind the entire way back. She smiled at how shy Ryou was, and how adorable they had both looked when they realized someone had seen them, their eyes wide with shock.

Her teacher glared at her as she entered, pointed to the assignments on the board, and, as the bell rang, warned her that next time she was gone so long she would receive detention.

'I would gladly attend detention, if I it meant I would have another morning like this one.' She thought merrily, smiling as she collected her books from her locker. Her glee quickly faded though, as she caught sight of Ryouji Otogi and her brother, clearly in a heated argument.

"You little fucker, TAKE THAT BACK!" Jounouchi bellowed, so loud that even the teachers poked their heads out.

**Eventine**: Short, I know, and I promise that this will not be the last we see of Yuugi and Ryou. Please review, but keep in mind all flames will be used purely to entertain pyromanical me with the pretty dancing light.


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